Pink Moment Dawsons

Lessons in Life

2009-12-13T12:44:00.000-08:00

My very dear friend, Anit, lost her daughter Natalie on November 10th. Natalie had contracted the H1N1 virus, developed pnemonia and simply could not recover this time. She died at home in Anit's arms, a small comfort and Anit's personal wish. Natalie lived an extraordinarily full life given her limitations thanks to the efforts of her amazing family. She was included in every celebration and beach trip and even play dates in the early years when Anit and I were raising our kids together. The picture on my blog was taken at Anit's wedding 2 years ago - she looked beautiful. I cannot tell Natalie's story with sadness or even relief as some people have suggested upon hearing of her passing. Natalie taught me so much and her lessons were profound. She taught me the power and strength of love, particularly a mother's love. She taught me that perfection is in the eye of the beholder. She taught me that even a life not lived in the traditional sense is still a life well-lived. She taught me that you should always follow your instincts and fight like hell for what you know is right. Natalie brought great joy to her family and friends and her spirit will remain with me forever. Natalie's most recent lesson is one about friendship. My dear friend has a hole in her heart and I will do everything I can to help her in the coming months sharing her process. We will share memories, cry together, laugh, vent and maybe we'll even share a margarita or two - cuz that's what friends do.

Lucky in Love

2009-12-13T12:20:00.000-08:00

Its funny, I never thought anyone would miss me! Its been over 9 months since I've blogged and I'm really not sure why. I've got plenty to write about and the time to do it. I'm attributing my rediscovered interest in blogging to my handsome husband of almost 5 years who, to my astonishment, actually checked my blog yesterday and said, "hey honey, do you realize its been almost a year since you've posted a blog??" He noticed and I liked it that he noticed. He actually took the time to find out something about me. He still makes me laugh, sings to me, puts up with me and tries to make me happy, sometimes not the easiest task. (Hormones at 49 are a challenge - Ladies, I'm sure you understand). Honey, I love you! Thank you for the little extra attention and stepping into my life. I'm one lucky lady.

Ok, I'm a little irritated

2009-02-26T17:57:00.001-08:00

I posted a blog a couple of weeks ago about a now unnamed drink that I have been taking. Turns out I have been discovered by the blog police, yes big brother bloggers lurk. I got an email saying that I am violating regulations with the trademarked name of the drink I am taking. Don't ask me how it was discovered, I only know that it was FAST. Personally, I think my right to free speech has been violated. I think I should be able to write about Tabasco (tm) sauce if I want to...they only own the trademark use of the name for commercial purposes. Anyhow, I still like the product, rhymes with Kona Me, but I'm a little disillusioned with the big brother tactics of its trademark department. Why do they feel so threatened?

2009-02-26T17:32:00.000-08:00

What have we been doing??? Well...never a dull moment at the Dawson ranch. We have constructed 3 raised garden beds, begun composting (gotta love the smell of fresh horse manure) AND it seems that the local blue heron (we think he's the same baby we had last year) is still after our gophers. Go get'em big guy! We hope to grow all of our own veggies, at least through spring and summer and both Mike and I will truly enjoy the feel of the warm soil, smell of organic dirt and fresh food each night. My wildest dreams have come to fruition.

This says it all - October 2008

2008-11-02T09:58:00.000-08:00

Its Almost Over - My Personal Rant on Election 2008

2008-11-02T09:13:00.000-08:00

I haven't involved myself in politics, really, ever. I loved Bill Clinton, and as unpopular as my view was at the time, I felt an impeachment over a "you know what" was and remains ridiculous. I find it incredible to this day that we were party to such an agenda. Bill Clinton was a fiscally responsible leader, a human being, smart and most importantly, lead our country to a prosperous economy - WITH NO WAR.

Then there was Al Gore. He was the only candidate I ever truly got excited about. Not believing in conspiracies, per se, it was not until many years after he "lost" the election, when other truths were uncovered, that I entertained the idea that there very likely was a conspiracy and the presidency was won by George W. Bush. Again, I find it incredible to this day that we were a party to such an agenda. My cynicism was hard earned. I became one of those people who voted the independent or green party candidate - basically, unfortunately, a throw away vote in our society. Voters like myself probably lost the last election and we were stuck with W for another 4 years bringing us to the disastrous situation we are in today.

So, after a very long process, nearly 2 years, I have lost most of my cynicism and feel hopeful that we will have Obama as our new president. To me, he is most like me. He has worked hard, has succeeded despite (maybe in spite of) being a half-black half-white man, no father, a single mother, not overly liberal or conservative - seems to have an uncanny common sense barometer. He is educated, intelligent, a leader with new ideas, no good-old-boy agendas, and a fresh perspective on politics. I believe he will do everything in his power to get this Country great again. He will make mistakes - and let's face it, he has been handed a pile of fresh, steaming manure to work with. But, for the first time in many years I feel hopeful that our Country will once again be looked upon as the Leader of the Free World. I'm tired of being the laughing stock of the World, chasing down supposed terrorists, and non-existent weapons of mass destruction, in oil-rich countries and calling it a war. But, I'll save that for another blog post.

Long story short, I want thank all of my friends and family for the healthy debates these past 22 months. Thank you for getting involved, being passionate, caring about our Country, our environment and our global community. Mostly, I thank you for giving me hope and taking me out of my cynical perspective and convincing me again, that my vote will make a difference. And, last but not least, I truly thank Sen. McCain for giving us Sarah Palin. Not only has she helped the Obama campaign, but the comedy has been outstanding.

With a Blink of an Eye

2008-08-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

Summer is nearly over! I haven't blogged since, gosh, I don't recall. Anyhow, I finally made it to Bonneville - the last pure venue for speed enthusiasts - absolutely fantastic only downside is the darn saltflats - so bright I have sunburned eyeballs. Well worth every bit of the effort though and got to see the new Seth Hammond Lakester run for its inaugural run (qualifying speed of 244 - will eventually see over 400 mph!). What else.

Katy graduated from UC Santa Cruz - gives me goosebumps to think that my little quiet, "loving surprise child" (her own description at 10 years old) is now a very mature, serious and still loving woman. I can't wait to see what other surprises are in store for me from Katy...2 down 1 to go.

Then, there was the 4th of July pig roast, 50th birthday bash for Paul. Met some new friends, had a great time and would definitely do it again.

Along with the normal bumps in the road with family health issues and work, I am constantly reminded of the love within my family and gratitude for everyone and everything in my life. My son has turned into the man I always knew he would be, Chloe is over the hump of the past couple of years and I am still the happiest wife around. I am truly blessed.

Best recent read: The Five People You Meet in Heaven (Mitch Albom) - quick read but fabulous Best recent movie: Mamma Mia!! If you haven't seen it - you absolutely must. It is a joy to behold.
Best recent old-school thought: Just went and bought Tammy and the Bachelor and Tammy Tell me True...thought it would be fun to re-visit these oldies with Chloe. Sheesh another lifetime ago.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST: I have finally learned how to text message. Thought you were safe from me, didn't you Chloe??

CUL8TR

Cheerio my friends.

Family Days

2008-02-18T08:38:00.000-08:00

I was reminded last night by Thomas and Chloe that in our house Sunday was "family day". This was something I had insisted upon - probably a throw back to my own childhood when on Sundays my mom would cook fried chicken and potato salad or a roast with gravy, we would have an early dinner, watch Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom and call it a night. She still cooks a roast most Sundays. For me, family day was a day dedicated to our family - no playing with friends, breakfast of waffles or pancakes, a nice sit down dinner and simply a day to catch up from the week's activities and spend quality time by ourselves or with each other. Some days were spent in solitude reading, some watching movies or sports, some cooking (calzones comes to mind) and it really was a day that each of us used to rejuvenate however we needed. Thomas and Chloe also reminded me that it was a day to catch up on household chores not completed during the week. I smiled at that memory as conveniently I had forgotten that part.

I think I can safely say that this tradition has become ingrained in my children and my guess is it will continue when they have their own children. It feels right to spend Sundays with family and as my family expands, grows old, and moves away, I will always be ready for a Sunday supper sitting around the dinner table reminiscing about "family days" new and old.

Drying Dishes

2008-02-18T08:02:00.000-08:00

I did something this week that I probably haven't done in 20 years: I washed, dried (by hand) and put away the dinner dishes. It was old school for sure and kind of relaxing in a strange way. It was also very poignant because I realized that all of a sudden the daily chores in my life have changed. When I was in the midst of raising kids my life was all about multi-tasking - my time was not my own and I never really had the chance to give any one thing my undivided attention. Homework, readying for the next day, laundry, projects, household chores and kids consumed my life. In retrospect, I spent most days just keeping up only to do it all over again the next day. Drying the dishes took me back to a time in my life that I had forgotten - I could literally hear my Mom's voice say, "you missed a spot".

These are my peeps

2008-01-03T06:38:00.000-08:00

Clowning around on Thanksgiving Day 2007 with (from left) Beav (Matt), Katy, Josh, Me, Chloe, My Main Squeeze, Adri, and Thomas. We still know how to have fun!

Good Bye 2007

2008-01-03T06:22:00.000-08:00

I, for one, was not unhappy to see the backside of 2007. It was such a tumultuous, "active" year - not only for me, but for many people I know. Along with some really great events in my life, some really sad, surprising, and unexpected things also took place. Not just for me, but for many people that I am in contact with. For me, the year started with my ex having a brain aneurysm and 3 subsequent strokes. It continued with a move from my home of 20 years into a new home. My youngest child graduated from high school 2 weeks before my Dad passed away. I saw one of my great childhood friends get married (for the first time!) and hosted many monumental moment parties - wedding shower, baby shower (2), 50th birthday parties, housewarming party, etc. etc. I attended 4 weddings, 1 funeral, at least 5 major parties and had 3 vacations. All this, while having the best year ever with my career. This was not a mellow, forgettable year. It will be one that stands out among others for many years to come. As Seth Hammond told Mike (the owner of his company) - "You and Kathy get the trophy for fitting as much shit as possible into one year". It should go on the mantle.

Happy Dia de los Muertos

2007-10-23T18:22:00.000-07:00

Those who know me know that I love Fall. I was born in the Fall, love the weather, the Santa Ana winds (the fires an unfortunate by-product!), the leaves falling, the colors, my allergies, Halloween, good fishing and ultimately Thanksgiving. This is Fall to me - the period from Labor Day until the day you get the itch to get your Christmas decorations out. I'm one of those people who likes to make Halloween scary, not cutesy. I know, I don't have little kids any more, but even when they were little, I'd dress in a black wig and be a witch. No Snow White costumes for this mom. What's wrong with a little celebration for the Dead? I actually do celebrate the dead. I have several people I think about each and every day who are no longer on this earth. So this Halloween, I created an altar instead of the usual happy faced pumpkin carvings. My intention is not to be macabre or morbid or even evil, it is simply to remember those no longer with us in the Mexican tradition. Mike insists that I turn the Madonna and Child photos on the altar candles (remnants of his Catholic upbringing gone bad) but for me it doesn't matter. Maybe my Dad, my grandma and Nana know that I'm raising a glass in their honor. I still have a bowl of candy, though. I couldn't get that crazy.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

2007-09-03T09:52:00.001-07:00

Where did it go? I swear it was Chloe's graduation only yesterday and now all of the stores have pumpkins and Halloween candy! Got some fishing and boat camping in, lounged by the pool, read a historical romance novel (Catherine Coulter rocks! :), caught up on life, conceded defeat to the mole in my garden (I'll get him next year!), made homemade pesto and actually found myself at the farmer's market a few times for some home-grown tomatoes. Summer would not be complete for me without a nice caprese salad or two.

It felt good to slow down after a year like I've had - such a whirlwind of changes. New house, moving, death, empty nesting, travel, job, and basically, just LIFE.

I think I'm getting my mojo back. Yeah Baby. Look out. I love Fall.

Lake Powell Fest 2007

2007-07-25T06:40:00.001-07:00

Well, it was hot, tight quarters and fun as heck. This is THE group of 2007 survivors. Thanks for the food, laughs, games, stories and memories...

Is there a moral to this story?

2007-07-07T07:02:00.000-07:00

The purple fountain appeared at the pinnacle of our stress, downright exhaustion and frustration over the never-ending pool saga. Our pool guy (hereinafter referred to as OPG), let's leave names out of it for the time being, is the creative-type. You know what I'm talking about. Our first sign that things would not go as anticipated should have been when OPG's referrals said, "OPG does great work but is a bit of a challenge to work with". Understatement. We signed our pool contract in January with the promise of swimming in 90 days. We filled the pool on June 27th. What happened? Well, there were County issues, new pool laws that cripple and have absolutely no common sense, and OPG had some personal issues. Well, he actually landed himself in the old gray bar hotel for a while. Needless to say, you only get one phone call a day from that resort and we weren't it. Ugh. OPG finally filled the pool on June 27th-yes, that is 3 full days before our party. The fountain was the only remaining fixture - it was specially designed, custom stained (yes, he thought we would like purple) and installed on June 28th. Have you ever had a moment that borders on shock, anger and hysteria? I speed dialed my husband (he HAD to do SOMETHING) to immediately alert him of the situation. At this point, Chloe voiced her disbelief - we both were teetering - to laugh or cry? Long story short, Mike put on his best diplomatic voice and suggested to OPG that "my wife hates it, it is out of scale, not what we asked for and PURPLE for God's sake?" Feelings schmeelings, I didn't give a rat's a** about OPG's aura that day (which he fiercely protects) and I'm sure I upset it a great deal - (he tattoos his young children - I don't think his kharma is very good anyways) . As you can see from the picture posts, the fountain was replaced by a nice little serene spray that will remain. I've been trying to find the moral to this story. If you see it, let me know.

We Did It

2007-07-06T18:54:00.000-07:00

It came right down to the wire but WE Pulled it off. Literally, the last plant was planted as the first guest arrived - thanks to Mike, Dudley, Tim and Juan (who may get the trophy for best party guest ever). The house, backyard and pool are finished...And we got to howl with our friends and family. It has been intense, painful, rewarding and one of those things, that honestly, I can say I never want to do again. As I said to many well-wishers on Saturday, every single detail of our house was debated and agreed upon by Mike and I. Seriously, down to the toilet paper holders. The overwhelming consideration for Mike and I was always: "How will it be when we have our friends and family over". Thanks to everyone for your advice, support, and patience with Mike and I these past couple of years. You made this project meaningful and Our house and hearts welcome you at any time. We are now moving into the slow lane for a mile or so...and even went fishing on Wednesday...

Check it out...

Fathers Come in Many Forms

2007-06-05T17:56:00.000-07:00

I learned to drive (a stick shift!) on a 1940 green pick up truck when I was 9 years old. I could throw a softball, shoot a B.B. gun, play 21 (basketball), and ride a motorcycle all thanks to My Dad, Bill, who died on Saturday of cancer. My Dad was an original. He had a temper, loved me unconditionally, thought salad was cool before it WAS cool, was an old-school S.O.B. and never apologized for anything. He was tough and taught me that life was tough - probably taught me much more than I want to admit about people, life and family. He was from the school of hard knocks - a life long Democrat, a little paranoid, and the government was ALWAYS bad. Ok, the reality was that he was difficult. The sad truth was that for many years, we haven't had a relationship. My choice (maybe his as well). Father relationships are much more complex than Mother relationships. Mothers are just there. Dads think they are people not just Dads, unlike Moms. Anyhow, I digress. I will always be grateful for the confidence, the stories, the sense of family, Irish pride (i.e., stubborn), and half siblings. Fubar, as my sister so eloquently says. (F'd up beyond all repair). Life goes on. It is what it is. I wish I had a picture. Sadly, I don't.

Moving Right Along

2007-05-15T17:36:00.000-07:00

The old adage moving right along struck me as an appropriate blog post. That pretty much describes the current chapter in my life. The literal moving portion, the plugging away aspect, and the stepping into the next chapter of my life, gulp. The dreaded Empty Nest Syndrome. I believe that Mike and I actually earned our doctorate degrees in parenting this week, thanks to of course, the Chloemeister. After such a week (senioritis, prom, AP tests, no sleep, I'M 18, what curfew?) you'd think I'd be, not really excited, but at least looking forward to September when Chloe will move to UC San Diego. It is definitely bittersweet. On the one hand, I'm so grateful that I don't have kids who want to stay home and roost under their parents' roofs - knowing that their success is dependent upon them becoming independent adults. On the other, I have never had more joy, more sense of purpose, more fun, and more pleasure than being a parent. I even liked the hard stuff. I'm one of those crazy women that even liked being pregnant. I even liked breast feeding (sorry Allison!) despite the sagging aspect. I have always felt that my greatest achievement would be to raise successful, happy, healthy kids. I wanted my kids to have more opportunity, education and confidence than I had. As Jacqueline Kennedy said (or something like it), "No matter what else you do in your life, if you mess up raising your kids, nothing else will matter." With a very happy heart, and one sentence in to the next chapter, I am moving right along with a man who holds my hand every step of the way. When September rolls around I will be ready.

Happy Belated Mother's Day!

Going to the extreme...

2007-05-01T18:29:00.000-07:00

Finding the balance - isn't that what its all about? Its been a crazy a** month - I'm not kidding. The move out of Bonmark is complete. Emotions in check. New house is beautiful but surrounded by a sort of dirt that I'd like to say could infiltrate the bubble boy room in intensive care...kind of a terra cotta talcum if you will. I'm adjusting and enjoying. This past week found us, Mike, Chloe and I, in various degrees of extremes. Four days in Manhattan, population 3 million to upstate Vermont, population 600. Weather from 86 degrees to 35 degrees. From fishing on a river with the local beavers (not the human kind) to treking through Times Square with the native New Yorker, an altogether different kind of animal. Finding the balance. I continue to enjoy the pursuit.

Happy Days.

Save the Date!!!

2007-04-04T19:05:00.000-07:00

Our official Howl at the Moon Open House is scheduled for June 30th, 2007. Put it on your calendars, because if you are reading this blog, you are someone I really want to howl with that night.

You will be tested.

Awoooooooooo.

Smelling the Roses = Feeding The Geese

2007-04-04T18:35:00.000-07:00

I honestly can't remember the last time I intentionally stopped to smell the roses. Its been a long time - too long and I was reminded of this last Friday night after talking to Katy. Katy, who has a REALLY full plate, working as nanny for 3 year old boy-girl twins, attending school full-time, a domestic violence hotline volunteer and all-around generous spirit, called me last Friday night from Santa Cruz. "What are you doing?" I ask. With a snicker she responds. "Beav and I are on our way to Pet Smart to pick up geese food. We're going to the Park to feed the geese". Or, did she say ducks? Anyhow, you get the point. The last time I went anywhere to feed fowl I had Katy on my hip and a 2-year old Thomas crying as the birds chased and bit him as he clutched onto the bag of Wonder Bread running for dear life. Those were some very aggressive darn birds. Needless to say, it was a long time ago. Fun times I had forgotten. Smile, laugh, enjoy. It was the perfect beginning to a really fun weekend that culminated in the celebration of Chloe's 18th birthday, the return of Thomas and Adri, the beginning of our move to our new house, and last, but not least, the meet and greet with my new honorary grand-daughter, Cadence Taylor Hester. Maybe I am smelling the roses, I'm just too busy to know it. Oh, and as I said to Katy earlier today, you made all of us smile - thank you.

The Only Thing Constant in Life is Change

2007-02-28T17:27:00.000-08:00

Yep, it is imminent. Good byes are generally hard. This one is going to take the cake. Births, broken bones, Gizmo, Laddie, ketchup blood, no training wheels, lizards, first kisses, celebrations, boogie boards on Lake Bonmark, proms, neighborhood rumbles, jump or dive, and best friends. Bonmark is where I have LIVED for nearly 19 years.

Memories.

A friend of mine, Adele a breast cancer survivor, always says: "the only thing constant in life is change." Change is good. One of MY favorite sayings is: "when one door closes another opens". It's true.

I am ready for this next chapter in my life. Shedding some of the heaviness I've been carrying for far too long. Purging some of the bad memories and storing the good ones for dinner discussions and story telling when I'm old (o.k. older). Looking towards tomorrow and savoring yesterday. It's all good.

la joie de vivre

2007-02-19T17:52:00.000-08:00

The Joy of Life can be found everywhere and nowhere. In people, animals, a feeling, a smell (one of my favorites) or even a sound. I sense Spring in the air all of a sudden and it makes me energized and happy. I'm not a Winter person - I really hate darkness and cold weather. Baby hawks squawking as they learn to hunt and fly, that first blossom on the Liquid Amber tree and well, just a sensation of early Spring - it is definitely in the air. Spring is Mother Nature's Joy of Life. Certain people have their own joie de vivre. We all know them. They are the ones with the positive attitudes, a zest and hunger for new experiences and a love of people - all types. I've also noticed that these people accept and love unconditionally and they only look into the future. They are the ones talking about current events, and the latest technology - yesterday a distant memory. They take classes and are lifelong learners. They keep all of the negatives in the past and they truly know how to live in the present. I am fortunate enough to have Hugh in my life. He is a gift and an inspiration. I am also fortunate to have known Nana, a soul-mate gone for many years now, but who I think about almost every day. She still comes to me in my dreams. In simple terms, I think the trick is to always put one foot in front of the other. There is a possibility in every tomorrow. That is the Joy of Life.

A Season for Everything

2007-02-11T17:29:00.000-08:00

Remember that email? The one that comes around every year or so about why different people come into your lives? I got to thinking about it the other day and realized that I'm a little different. Without exception, all of my friends, the ones I respect, truly care about and would do anything for, are people I have known for the better part of 20 years, or my entire life. Co-workers, the contractor building our house, mom of your kid's best friend, are people you know but not really friends. Friends are different and long term. They will tell you that are wrong and still put their arms around you in support. I believe that I am a long-term friend -at least I aspire to be one. This week I was humbled by 4 exceptional friends in my life. My Mom, my husband, my sister Lindy and my friend, Lana. It was a rough week, I needed 4 friends.

Never Say Never!

2007-02-06T17:37:00.000-08:00

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be a blogger.

I love it. I am so amused and secretly voyeuristic about what others want to share with their friends, family and basically (potentially) the World on a narcissitic website. I have decided to make the big jump and create a blog about my own crazy life - hopefully for the enjoyment of others despite the advice of my "perfect for me husband" who says 'blog, 'blog, 'blog.

My life is crazy and I'm hoping that this blog will help me lighten up and appreciate the humor and ecstasy of life. As my friend Lana says, "one must live life intentionally". I think I'm doing a pretty good job of it as I can't imagine fitting anything else into my life (oh, except Grandkids!)

My biggest lesson thus far in 2007 is that I have learned the true definition of "fun", what "fun" isn't, and why one must always have "fun".

Fun is fishing and catching a big Lincod!
Fun is having your husband sing to you first thing in the morning!
Fun is playing Texas Hold'em with your kids and their significant others!
Fun is reading a book by a quiet river in Big Sur!
Fun brings a smile to your face and a lightness into your soul.
Health is fun.
Love is Fun.
Life is meant for fun.

Blogs. Never say never...